Was I to Blame the Storm?

I knew on some level that this day would arrive, in fact I used to joke about it with Wayne, "You don't know this but these are the good old days." I find myself increasingly relying on personal experiences to relate to nature and my life here in Vernon. I'm unsure when the transition to reflection crept in, or perhaps this connectedness has always been there; only the novelty of  busy days pushed these sorts of thoughts aside.

"We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip, a trip takes us." - John Steinbeck

John Steinbeck has for as long as I can recall, been my favorite author, so when my much respected Expository Writing professor assigned us to examine an author of our choice, there wasn't any question as to who it would be. Steinbeck and I shared a curiosity of science in particularly biology and with each piece read, I fixated on the theme that nature always wins. Imagine my embarrassment when my professor responded that my understanding of Steinbeck was superficial. Twenty five or so years later I walked along Cannery Row and touched the statue of Steinbeck there. I drank in the sights of Monterey Bay, Salinas Valley and Big Sur.

"When two people meet, each one is changed by the other so you've got two new people." -John Steinbeck

Our daughter is here from CA and we both found ourselves involved in an unexpected detour of sorts. Kayden who came home to see her grandmother who is struggling with her health, hadn't anticipated becoming a birdwatcher (that is her sister's gig) but when Wayne found a nest of Gray Catbird chicks by the deck, they became part of the family. Not long after finding the nest, I found what appeared to be adult Gray Catbird feathers by the Blue Spruce. Seeing the kill site caused me stress not only for the nest, but also because since last summer, a Catbird has been following me around the yard  as I did my gardening. We have had the most delightful conversations!  I speculated that the neighborhood cat or perhaps a hawk lessened the babies chances of survival and we wondered if they would. Then yesterday I found a second scattering of Catbird feathers in the middle of the lawn.

"I got you to look after me and you got me to look after you and that's why" - Of Mice and Men

I think it's human nature to want to 'help" creatures who may be struggling and so we considered what it would take to aid the little beings. I decided that it was best to watch and see if they were still being cared for. Having no idea if those taken were the parents or if so, how long they could survive alone, we checked on them throughout the day.

"I wondered why it is that some people are less affected and torn by the verities of life and death than others." -John Steinbeck

It would have been easy to be angry at the neighborhood cat for the death of my feathered friend and its offspring even if the cat was not the culprit. Laying blame sometimes relives one of their own responsibilities to look deeper into the matter. We went to sleep knowing that the chicks were alive and looking strong. This morning after heavy rains, I found the nest tipped and all of the chicks gone. Was I to blame the storm?

"It's so much darker when a light goes out than it would have been if it had never shone." -John Steinbeck.

-Norma Manning

Gray Catbird chicks in the nest

Even with eyes closed their mouths opened when we came near

Their home did not withstand the storm