An Elf in Vernon

I found an Elf in Vernon. I know, I was as shocked as you are learning that they are here in Vernon during the off season. I had always assumed that the head Elf used the Browning Strike Force Sub Micro 16 mp game camera in the months following December to track residents who are naughty or  nice, yet by pure happenstance I may have captured proof that Elves are still on the clock.

I have been struggling nearly all month whether or not to reveal my find to the general public. You see, on the one hand, I know that the North Pole Elf is not listed as a plant nor animal with the Vermont Department of Natural Resources, Vermont Fish and Wildlife, UVM Extension, or any other state entity including Act 250 that I could find. On the other hand I'm not absolutely sure that an elf would not be covered by Vermont's endangered species law (10V.S.A. Chap. 123). I suspect that when government bureaucracy finally gets up to speed, Elves will either need to be included on the 2020 Census given their year round presence, or included on the list of Vermont's 36 endangered and 16 threatened animals. It is against the rules to reveal the exact location of endangered and threatened plants and animals; but more importantly, nobody wants to get on the top Elf's naughty list for outing the exact location of an Elf.

I have however come up with a plan using approved methods for reporting. The VT Nongame and Natural Heritage program tracks native rare plants and animals general locations, so I could reach out to them by phone. Instead, I have decided to use the friendlier Citizen Reporting option on the VT Fish and Wildlife Department  site. I doubt that I could get into trouble with the North Pole for exercising my civic responsibility to help ensure the protection of natives in VT.

Oh, in case you think I've lost my good senses, I will post my picture of the heavily camouflaged Elf here. I have of course edited out anything that would reveal its exact location, so you had better be sure to be nice while out and about in Vernon! -Norma Manning

Elf profile: proof that an Elf was in Vernon, VT in May 2020