Friday, July 30, 2021

4,800 Heartbeats Till Sunset

One hour before sunset on a blanket without talking, without walking, without a goal, without a problem to solve, no electronics, just 4,800 heartbeats spent simply being present in the forest. 

Sounds easy doesn't it? It was supposed to be a clarifying, centering, peace filled hour in a place that I love. I guess it takes practice.

I can spend an hour watching television and surfing the internet. I have spent many hours facing the water with a pole in my hands or staring into a campfire telling stories. Hiking an hour through the forest isn't a problem. Walking the dogs, writing, I have spent hours upon hours writing. So why was this hour pushed back four days? Why did we wait until the day was almost finished? How is it that I had started to think of this hour as an extreme challenge?

7:00 on Millers Crossing, this has to be the spot as we are running out of time. I'm not one to apply bug repellent in layers but this was ridiculous! Wayne looked about as miserable as I have seen him and it was quite distracting with all of the swatting, grimacing and passing repellant back and forth. I attempted to focus on the ferns in the distance and the white mushrooms that seemed to grow brighter even as the air became darker. I tried to breath deep, notice the tree bark, see the twigs and millions of acorns on the floor. I closed my eyes hoping to hear the forest moving around me. For an eternity I heard my inner voice questioning if we could outlast the mosquitos. 

When was this self revelation supposed to take place? 

It had been a rough two weeks rushing to complete a long overdue project; but wait, that seemed against the rules to think about such things. I could hear birds, you know the one that sounds like crystal and then the one that squawks in prescribed intervals? What is it that keeps hitting branches on its way down before vanishing? Honestly, I was hoping to encounter something more exciting like a coyote but I'd settle for squirrel, anything to distract me from these bugs. Traffic, is there anyplace in town where you can't hear it? That must be the car that everyone was talking about, and that is definitely a helicopter. I don't know what I am searching for.

Seth said that if you sit still enough, turkeys would roost overhead, that you could see the white tailed deer turn her ears just so at the slightest rustle. Where are the damn turkeys Seth!

7:28 Is it permitted to touch things around me? I reach out, pick up two stubby twigs and hold them together. One is white and smooth. I pass my hand over the acorn tops, oak leaves and broken shells. Under the bark I can see the white strands of the decomposers working to break the bark down into black earth. I look at Wayne, he has picked up sticks as well and is trying to piece them together like a puzzle. He shows me what looks like a complete stick before he takes it apart. I point to the white mushroom, he points to a brown one next to him. I look more closely, we are surrounded by saucer sized brown mushrooms.

Suddenly it occurs to me that I have stopped obsessing about the mosquitoes. That's it Norma, mind over blood suckers. Ouch!

7:48 (yes I know I am cheating by checking the time). The air is cooling, the birds seem to have dwindled down to only the crystal bird. Pink, blue and white peak between the boughs of the forest trees. Wayne catches my attention and says one word, "pines." The pines are bathed in a beam of gold in the otherwise darkening woods. Then I see them flickering. Is there a breeze? Nothing else seems to be moving but the ferns. Yes, they are swaying like a chorus keeping their time in slow rhythm and then one or two quickens followed by more. Am I losing my mind? I probe the woods for signs of wind. 

*:00 Wayne helps me to my feet and we gather up the blanket. We are walking on Millers Crossing in Maynard J. Miller Municipal Forest, where the white mushrooms seem even brighter and white rocks seem to be guiding us along the path. "Did you see the ferns move?"  I ask. "Yes" Wayne replies and then asks me, "What would you have done if we had seen a bear?"  -Norma Manning


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